What I'm Giving Up This Season
Permission to go your own way.
If it’s not working, does it always need fixing?
I’ve been working online in some capacity or another for the best part of seven years now.
In all that time I’ve never been at ease with marketing and selling my work, I took numerous courses, watched multiple workshops, learnt so much from You Tube videos, to the extent that I’ve heard myself saying to friends, “Sometimes I feel more like a business coach, than a holistic coach”.
Despite all that knowledge, my business has never felt easeful, it has always felt ‘too much’, clunky, overwhelming - So I’m giving it up.
Because I couldn’t do ‘it all’, and grow my business sustainably, I thought something needed fixing.
I thought I was doing something wrong, that I wasn’t capable enough.
I thought there was a secret I was not being let into when it came to running an online business and I sought out the support of various online business coaches and mentors to help me.
Turns out, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, it’s just not who I am.
The hard truth is when you run your own business, you not only have to show up in the capacity of your profession, you also have to show up as a business owner, it’s all consuming, there is no space to be.
I was becoming buried in the busyness, pressure, and expectations of running a business, after spending years healing, and unburying myself from all the weight I carried due to my lack of self worth.
At the beginning of this year, I made a promise to myself that this year I would let myself be, I wouldn’t waste my energy in the busyness of life’s dramas and business, yet during my seasonal check in, running through the framework of my workshop, Your Current Season, I had to be really honest with myself about how I had not kept this promise, I had not been letting myself be.
I had unintentionally got caught up in someone else’s version of success.
My business was born out of my own mission to become better at being myself, yet I had fallen into a trap that didn’t allow me to be, because I was so busy ‘doing all the things’, instead of just being me, and letting that be enough, letting me be what sells my services.
I got very clear about the woman I no longer wanted to be, how she no longer wanted to spend her time and energy, and then on what I did need, and how I did want to spend my days, and then I made a huge pivot and decided to give up my business.
I felt quite a lot of shame that I had done so much inner work to not seek outer validation from others when it came to my personal journey, yet when it had come to my business, I had not trusted myself, and given my power away.
As I made my pivot I thought back to a time when running a business had felt easeful and true.
To give you some background, I’ve worked for myself in different capacities over the years, in varying professions, I’ve been a freelance graphic designer, ran a health coaching business, set up a local and organic produce delivery service, been a full time artist…
My husband and I created and ran a restaurant together from 2007 to 2015 ish, then after making some decisions about lifestyle choices, we sold it to the tennis player Novak Djokovic, who subsequently turned it into a vegan restaurant.
I sat with my emotions as my mind flicked back through my professional timeline and it settled on those restaurant days, although the days were long, at times stressful, and we made a lot of sacrifices as a family, and couple to run that business, it never felt overwhelming, nor gave me anxiety.
Running a restaurant felt easeful to me, it was true to me, because for me it was like an extension of my home, I welcomed our clients in, held space for them, listened to their stories, asked after their families, made them feel valued, cared for them, helped them to feel seen, and heard, catered to their varying needs, it came naturally to me, it didn’t feel like effort, and through the restaurant we created a community, where people came to be.
I’ve spent a lot more time this month doing my self work than I normally would, because this pivot has felt really important, I’m no longer the woman who wants to waste her energy in the busyness of running a business, I want my business to be like the restaurant was, an extension of my home, and extension of me, so I’ve created a new community, a sanctuary for the women I support to be, that also allows me the space to fulfil my own personal mission of becoming more me.
When I realised that I wasn’t actually doing anything wrong when it came to running a business, I realised that, just like in my self work, I needed to tend to my business, understand what it needed, it needed more me.
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I am many things, but I’m not an entrepreneur, not in the traditional sense.
I needed to care for who I truly am, and give myself permission to go my own way.
So that’s what I’m intending to do as I step tentatively through this next season, I always say that you can gauge how much you are healing by the pace at which you pave your path, I have no pull to rush, I’m feeling more and at peace with where I am, who I am, and this is how I know my actions are true.
So as I give up the busyness of running a business, I of course have to be clear about where my time, energy, and focus will be going to.
I have to be realistic, I still have to generate an income, but instead of marketing, and selling, trying to convince others that I can help them, I’m going to be showing them I can, I’m going to be practicing what I preach, and prioritise documenting, over marketing, it feels so much more true to me, and I believe I can be of more service, sharing the journey of my process, rather than trying to sell you how I would take you on this journey.
I want to be me, I don’t want to spend my life minutes trying to sell/market the fact that I know how to help you be more you.
I also by no means have it ALL figured out!
Another way I was led astray, was by a coach convincing me to put ‘expert’ in my copy, yes I guess you can say I am an expert of this journey, I’ve been cycling it for nearly 15 years now, but I don’t see myself as being ‘better’ than anyone at this, it doesn’t even interest me to be better;
I just want to be better at being myself.
The pressure of having to know all the answers as business owner can be crushing, I want to stand by your side and assure you that together we will help you to find your own way in life. (So when I have the capacity I’l be editing out the word expert from my copy)
No one is capable of knowing your truth, except for you.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Don’t give your power away, especially to someone who does not make you feel seen and heard.
I’ll close now and will be writing more about my intentions for this ‘season of me’ in my next article, for now I’ll leave you with a few prompts that may help you be more true.
I no longer want to be a woman who…
If I’m honest with myself I no longer enjoy…
I’m spending too much of my energy…
I don’t want to waste anymore time…
I need to stop…
The Magic Of Practicing
We are who we practice to be.
I chose ‘practice’ as my guiding word this year, so it was natural that the community I’m tending to life was founded on practicing to be ourselves, allowing ourselves be.
We all know the traditional ‘co working’ style sessions, to hold you accountable to getting ‘more done’, but what about ‘co self work’ session, that hold you accountable to being ‘more true’, less doing, more being.
We all find it hard to prioritise ourselves, to unbury ourselves from the busyness of life.
The Let Her Be community is a space in which you can support yourself, and receive the support and encouragement you need to let yourself be, stand in your power and continue to nurture trust, not only with yourself, but also in those around you.
The community is a space to feel held, heard and seen. A space, in which, each of us will begin to change the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, and who we are capable of being.
There is no hierarchy within the community, no judgement, and no expectations, only acknowledgement and acceptance.
We will walk alongside each other, and tend to ourselves, so that we can work towards creating a life in which we can flourish.
The community is a sanctuary, a space to heal, to be a beginner, to practice, fertile soil in which to plant seeds and set aligned intentions, to retake ownership of what blooms in our lives, and what falls away.
We prioritise support, and encouragement over advice to help each our nurture our self trust.
We do not need to be improved, nor fixed, everyone is welcome to come as they are, and be a part of a community that truly supports one another.
It’s never ease to walk away from doing what we thought was expected of us, into a life beyond ‘the busy’, away from what is not true, but what we know - you don’t need to make this journey alone.
The Let Her be community is now being nurtured by its founding members, and by joining us, not only do you get to be a part of this nourishing space, you also get access to my seasonal workshop, a guided meditation and workbook, monthly group coaching, live practice/self work sessions, women’s circles, and other self care tools… The founding members price costs 15€/month (that’s about 3,75€ a week, and you can cancel at anytime) - sign up today to lock in at the lowest founding members price for as long as the community is held!
Do you need accountability to keep the promises you make to yourself? Who do you no longer want to be, and what do you want to commit to this season?
Let’s chat in the comments!
I love and resonate with the idea of just showing up and sharing your process. How liberating to just be with the business rather than forcing it to be something we don't want it to be, or want to be ourselves. Thank you for sharing your truth. ❤️